The holiday season is upon us and the house if giddy with anticipation of fun events and togetherness.  Is it always perfect? No.  But, we’re there and working on things together.  I don’t post much, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t a lot on my mind.  The future, the family, and the fuh …uh I don’t have one.

Sorry, baby.  I know how much you love alliteration.

Happy Holidays to you.  Happy Hannukah to Big J and my other Jewish readers.  Merry Christmas to my Christian readers.  Merry Christmas to my secular readers who still like celebrating Christmas because it’s a cool holiday (although Adam Sandler does make a good argument as to why Hannukah is way cooler).  Kwanzaa party for some! Festivus for the rest of us.

And I leave you with this little news bit.

Florida was ranked in the top 5 happiest states.

Snow Girl – My teacher said it’s “Itch”
P2H – It’s “H” aitch…not itch

Jinx. Snow Girl has it. Fo sho. Noodle is running a slight fever. Nae Yujah is feeling the effects.

It’s in the house. But, this illness ain’t got nothing on me. I’m taking homeopathic crap by the butt loads and hoping I can . . . cough . . . oh no.

Itch in my throat. Damn that teacher.

Each year I receive notification that I’ve been nominated for several of the “Who’s Who” awards.  In reality, the word “Award” should be in the proverbial air quotes because what exactly do those “awards” come with?  These things are “vanity” publications that for some reason people believe actually mean anything significant in their professional portfolio.

Hmm…should I be included in the 2009 Cambridge Who’s Who of American Professionals or should I try to win the National Teacher of the Year award?  I don’t know. $20 to win an award sounds good, doesn’t it?

In reality, I don’t know how I get these nominations.  One year I was nominated for a teacher of the year award for Florida by several students.  I had to fill out a ton of paperwork, which I never did.  Needless to say, I never received the award.  I didn’t think filling out a five page application after being nominated was worth the time away from being a teacher, just to prove that I was a good teacher.

So, I go and do what I do on a normal basis.  Try to get through the red tape bullshit of lesson plans and turning in tests on time, and grading countless papers as quick as I can to give the administration some sense that I’m actually doing my job.  Don’t judge me on the fact that the students are happy in class, can tell you how to do a rhetorical analysis, a literary analysis, what a zeugma is, or that 89% of them receive college credit on their AP exam.

It’s okay.  Much of what I do goes on unrecognized.  Not only in the classroom, but also in other areas.

Parenting is one of those areas.  It’s hard to prove that what you are doing works.  Most of the validation comes when no one is paying attention.  The proof isn’t always in the pudding.

I don’t know how to explain it . . . but it’s kind of like a thankless job.  Sometimes, I falter.  Sometimes, I’m lazy.  Sometimes, I fuck it up.

But, most of the time, I’m doing something right.

But, like the proverbial saying goes . . . “behind every good man is a great woman.”

Nae Yujah makes me a better parent.  I’m more aware of my shortcomings.  I’m aware of my strengths and weaknesses.  We discuss almost nightly our thoughts on our family unit and what we can do to improve it.  We talk about the future, about the kids, and us.

It’s not perfect, but it’s something beautiful.

So I’m formally announcing my nomination of Nae Yujah for inclusion in the Who’s Who of Kick Ass Mom’s.

Most of you know the story.  But, for those who want to tell their own story and are Korean, please check the following link:

How We Met

Of course, your story (nor mine) can’t be as cute as Joo Ji Hoon and Yun Eun Hea in Palace.  But, just maybe, it might be cute enough for inclusion in their issue on love.

I know a lot.

For example, I know from my study of random factoids around the world that the Japanese are eating square watermelons at the tune of $90 a pop.

However, there are many things I can’t explain.  So, in response to a question Snow Girl posed tonight, I will answer, or attempt to answer several questions and problems and issues that have arisen on the blogosphere since my hiatus.

Why did Heigl and Kelley adopt a baby girl from Korea?

She loves her sister.  Her sister is adopted from Korea in the same time I was adopted.  Heigl is active in rescuing things like dogs.  Koreans eat dogs (even my oma).  She saw the opportunity to help a special needs child escape a dog-eating culture.  She not only gets to help a child, but also reduce the chance a dog will be eaten.  It’s a win-win situation for the Heigl Hounds of Hope.  By the way, when you go their foundation’s website you can see photos of their adopted Korean child.  Right under those pictures it says “Come meet some GREAT ADOPTABLE ANIMALS” and “Meet some of our adoptable critters.”

Is conditional parenting manipulative and damaging?

Parenting is manipulative and damaging.  If it wasn’t, we wouldn’t try to improve upon the previous generation’s views and ways of parenting.  It’s beneficial for us to fuck up so other’s don’t have to later on.  And since there are so many ways of fucking up, we haven’t even begun to scratch the surface of getting it right.  If we were always getting it right, we wouldn’t have hundreds of books to buy that tell us we’re doing it wrong.

Why is punctuation so necessary?

My beloved sent me a link that said it will be National Punctuation Day tomorrow.  Notice that the previous sentence had no comma.  If the previous sentence had a comma it would not have made any sense.  Punctuation can be deadly.  If you didn’t know that, read the story about the panda that went on a shooting spree after a yummy dinner.

Why are Tibetan nannies so good?

They’re Asian.

Where will Kanye interrupt you next?

Coitus interruptus

Are white men driven to violence by Asian women?

Only if they didn’t have a Tibetan nanny.  In reality, the answer is far more complex.  The question has arisen in response to Annie Le’s murder.  I don’t believe her Asian-ness drove her murderer into a rampage of sexual deviancy and violence.  In fact, people who make this into a white man against an Asian women completely forget that the majority of violence against Asian women occurs by Asian men.  This is true in America and in Asian countries.  Studies have been devoted to this issue.  Do the research.

What’s for dinner?

Sauteed penne with garlic and olive oil.  Shreds of proscuitto, sprinkles of parmigiano-reggiano cheese, and artichoke hearts.

Who was the best TV Dad ever?

Howard Cunningham.  He let the Fonze practically live in his house.  He always kept his cool (even when a kid ran away).  He was never a friend, but always a guide and loving authority figure.  He could dance.  He could sing.  He ate at a cool diner.  He never put on a stupid sweater vest like some other TV Dads.

Why are wealthy Americans opposed to the public health option?

Because they are stupid.  They also believe in Social Darwinism.  Let the best people survive so they can create an incestuously wealthy community of like-minded morons.  The poor should just die and go away since they only cause problems.

What can I do to avoid getting swine flu?

Too late.  You already have it.  Tomorrow you will begin feeling a tingling sensation in your throat.  By the end of the day you will have a slight drip in your nostril.  By the end of the evening, you will also have a headache.  No, it is not your “seasonal allergy” or your sensitivity to your building’s air conditioner.  It is H1N1 and it’s mutating as you are reading this blog post into something far more sinister.  It will eventually be called donkey flu for all the jackasses that spread it around by picking their noses while driving and texting, sneezing on their hand instead of their elbow, and breathing underneath the glass at buffet lines.

Why are old habits hard to break?

Quitting is for losers.  Old habits are like old people.  You know they’re eventually going to fade away, but you feel bad about pulling the plug on them too early.

Why is Elton John adopting a baby?

Because he can’t give birth.  Duh.

Why don’t you write about being adopted anymore?

Everything I write comes from the point-of-view of an adoptee.  What’s your real question?

Why is homework so inconsistent and stupid in Florida?

The sunshine makes people dumber.  It literally fries your brain and decreases your intelligence quotient by 5 – 10%.  This affects teachers who assign the homework.  It then affects the students who do the homework assigned by the teachers.  These children then grow up into college educated individuals.  Most of them will go to college in Florida because Florida is smart enough to create a reward system for smart people to stay in this state.  So smart people never reach their fullest potential because they don’t go to smartical schools.  They then turn around and work in Florida.  All the while, their brain is cooking in the 110 degree heat index.  This becomes a vicious cycle.

Why are drivers so bad in Florida?

See above.  Also, in response to my beloved’s recent posts on Florida drivers, I must defend them.  We know what we’re doing.  We’re just too stupid to realize that other people might not know what we’re doing.  This causes confusion.  For example, if I’m about to pass someone, why do I need to use a blinker?  They’ll figure out I’m passing them when they see me whiz by.  The people behind me will figure out I’m moving into their lane when they see my car swerve.  They will brake to make room for me, because they won’t risk getting hit.  If they risk getting hit, they better have good insurance, because in Florida, it is the person who hits the other person from behind that is to blame.  Look it up.  Similary, I will not use my headlights during a rainstorm because I can see other cars in front of me.  Why do they need to be able to see me?  That is, unless they want to change lanes without using their blinker and don’t realize I’m there.  Only then will I flash my highbeams at them several times, honk, and then actually continue to drive without my lights on.  This makes complete sense because during these daily rain showers we can always remember that we live in the sunshine state, so therefore it must be bright enough for others to see us.

Dearest Nae Yujah,

I’m finished blogging for the night.  I need that backrub now.  And a beer.  What is that?  Yes, of course you can have a beer first.  Huh?  Oh, your back hurts, too?  Oh, let me rub that for you.

Wait a minute . . . wasn’t I going to ask for something?

Ah, well.  I’m sure it wasn’t as important as . . .

Yes, of course you can have choco . . .

Baby sold twice.

Philippines is the worst.

Play Poker.  Support Adoption.

Adoptee inspires movie character.

Holt lies about child’s autism.

Cinderella adoptee story?

School has begun.  New home life has begun (in earnest).  New coaching season has begun.  New teaching responsibilities with other teachers have begun.  New students have begun irritating me.  Hurricane season is looming.  It’s always raining.  My roof seems to still be leaking.  My a/c seems to still be leaking.  My body seems to still be . . . well, at least that’s not leaking yet.

All these stresses add up, and guess what?  I’m alive.  Thankfully.

However, I was going to really post something thoughtful.  Something really, really thoughtful and insightful and awe-inspiring that would make you all love me and say, “wow, that P2H really knows how to warm my heart-strings.”  But, instead, I just happened to see this on the news pages.

Blood suckers love stress

Now you know why I’m stressed?

Because of NBC and Disney.

The same goes for one of the Jonas brothers, Miley Cyrus’s little brother, and that badass killing machine Liam Neeson.

Saturday we went to see Ponyo as presented to American crowds by Disney.  How do you get a ton of kids to go see it?  Use Hollywood actors and actresses to do the voice overs.

Miyazaki’s films have always had an ecological slant, as evidenced by My Neighbor Totoro and Princess Mononoke.  Totoro clearly reveal Miyazaki’s love of organic green space and farming culture.  The pastoral nature of the movie suggests a childlike love of growing and sustaining gardens in a world that is losing innocence and purity (evidenced by the older girl’s realization that her mother is sick and dying).  Mononoke is clearly a darker film aimed at exploring his belief of the destructive quality of mankind on the beautiful natural quality of forests.  The girl raised by wolves is at odds with the civilized boy.  Interestingly enough, you can also see the Japanese belief in forest gods and spirits, which is why the plot is set forth by an act of violence against a forest spirit.

So Ponyo should have been no different.

However, the film fell well short of the Miyazaki’s earlier work.  Yes, you get charmed by the artistry and imagination of the artist, but the story is simplistic and so basic in concept, that it becomes nothing more than a poorly constructed nursery tale.

It’s based on the Little Mermaid folktale.  A goldfish falls in love with a little boy who finds her stuck in a jar.  Then, the goldfish’s father comes to take her back to the sea.  The little goldfish who has magical powers wants to become a human to be with the little boy.

I’m with all this until the end where there is this ultimate test to restore the balance of nature on earth.

I’m incredulous.  Where Miyazaki could have brought into the film his ecological slant, he gives up and hands the reigns over to two characters who fall in love at the age of five.  I’m not sold on it at all.

I was left feeling like I just watched someone stick their hand in fire and take it out and say, “wow, that was hot” with a look of wonder and amazement.

Eh.  Wait for it on DVD.  I’m sure they’ll release it in BluRay and make it look even prettier than it was on the big screen.  Disney’s known for crap like that.